A Chinese company is offering a body kit for the E60 BMW 5 Series (2004-2010) that it’s literally dubbing the “M3 Big Mouth Front Bumper.” It’s inspired by exactly what the name suggests and includes an M5 emblem. It is available on the general shopping website Taobao.com.
Response Option 1
Different cultures have different common aesthetic tastes. It’s the reason the Forbidden City looks different than Hampton Court, or that people in Beijing dress different than those in Bolivia. It’s part of the glorious diversity that makes humanity special. It should therefore not be surprising that people might think a car is gorgeous in one market and ghastly in another. In fact, it’s actually surprising there’s as much aesthetic commonality between markets as there is.
In other words, maybe the Chinese love the new M3’s “Big Mouth Front Bumper.” Maybe they aren’t burdened with the aesthetic expectations associated with decades of classic BMW design since those classic BMW designs really weren’t available in China. Maybe the “M3 Big Mouth Front Bumper” was even designed with Chinese tastes in mind?
As such, adding that “Big Mouth Front Bumper” to the E60 5 Series actually improves the thing. Come to think of it, the E60 was always weird. It was arguably a more radical design departure from its E39 predecessor than today’s M4 is from its predecessor.
In the end, lighten up Francis, this isn’t for you and that’s OK.
Response Option 2
The majority of humans, regardless of common cultural aesthetic tastes, thinks the “M3 Big Mouth Front Bumper” is hideous and this company should be ashamed for making the E60 look even more ridiculous. Furthermore, demand Taobao remove it immediately in order to spare humanity’s eyes from the thing.